The Hole

The House was caving in an hour before we heard the sound. It was a deafening roar that I will never forget. It sounded like a lion. I was dead then.

Her sister was the first cheerleader on the squad to have her period. It was a disgusting mess that Mr. Hartsfield, the science teacher, described as a “healthy flow.” Donald the misanthropic boyfriend had nothing to say.

Who will ever forget the afternoon that Nancy’s house caved in? It was like a flaw in the structural foundation or something because the way I see it, it’s the cities fault really, I mean come on, you know? Who should we blame here? Who’s to blame?

Seventeen devout Christians were hiking in the woods when they stumbled across a patch of golden grass. After measuring with some curiosity the Christians discovered the dimensions to be exactly 3.14 by 3.14 feet down to the exact blade.

“My friends, devout friends, followers, I would even call you disciples,” John Merryweather joked to his employees at the Burger Barn, “I stand before you, a happily married man.”

Nancy yawns. She hates this. She hates her job. Her life. Everything she did from the moment she woke up into this world and everything she is planning on doing until she checks out from eternity. It’s an endless cycle with a promised end goal that never comes. The more you think about it the farther you feel. Like literally the more you read this sentence the farther you are away from the top of the page. Where I die.

The seventeen devout Christians pondered what to do with their divine discovery in the woods. At first they felt they should leave the grass be in its natural god given state- but after one Christian quickly realized the grass’s hallucinatory benefits, the seventeen Christians decided to smoke the grass as a way to speak with their Lord and Saviour. Most, if not all of the Christians have no recollection of that afternoon.
I was standing in my backyard yelling at my husband, Harold, he always plants from the front of the garden backwards eventually trapping himself in the corner next to the garage, he always does this, so I was yelling at him and then I heard this loud scream… Like a shrill, glass under your fingernails kind of feeling, then I heard the earth give out from the neighbours yard and then I looked over to see the hole.